The Incredibly Strange Schwarz Fic
by Kitsune no takai
Summary: Just read the title and that's what you get, Schwarz has a very strange day.


Schuldig: This fic is written for Dee-chan who wanted to see all of the Schwarz members die, WHAT!!! YOUR GOING TO KILL US!! WHY???

Neo: Because that is the mood I'm in right now and I just what to write something really crazy, do not flame until after you read it. I do not own Weiss Kreuz, I'm just borrowing them for my twisted ideas. Now on with the fic!

The Incredibly Insane Schwarz Fic

One day the members of Schwarz were just walking around when Farfarello noticed something by a tree. It was a little squirrel and before any of the others knew what was happening he had impaled the little creature with a knife that they'd missed.

"Farfarello! How many times have we told not to do that in public!" Brad looked like he was going to pop and the fact that Schuldig was imitating him behind his back wasn't helping. "You hate god so much so may he strike you right here!"

Before any one could say anything and lightning bolt crashed down and hit Farfarello head on. When it was over there was nothing left but a small pile of ash.

Brad raised his hands to the sky, "Thank you god, it was a perfect bulls eye." Nagi ran up to gather the ashes but before he could the wind picked them up. They flew right into a young woman's face and Nagi watched as she choked and was smothered to death.

Schuldig for one thought it was very funny, "It seems that nothing can keep Farfie from killing people. Not even death itself." Nagi had to agree.

Brad walked happily down the street thinking how nice everything was going to be without the psycho to bother him when he realized that Farfarello never bothered him, it was Schuldig.

With a pained cry Brad turned around and set off to find Schuldig so he could be killed too. The seer located him and Nagi at a restaurant eating lunch and acting like nothing had ever happened, "What are you two doing? Farfarello just died and all you can do is eat?"

"But Crawford, Farfarello wanted to die anyway. Why should we feel sad since he got what he wanted? That's just not right." Nagi was very calm about the whole thing, "We should be more worried about who's going to die next rather who has died."

Brad choked suddenly, "What do you mean who's going to die next?? Why would someone else die?? There's no reason for it!!"

Schuldig looked up at him, "We're all going to die because the author is insane and the friend she's typing this for doesn't like us. She asked for a story where we would all die so now we're all going to die."

Brad stared at the two people in front of him for a moment before his eyes rolled back into his head and he collapsed on the ground, twitched for a few seconds and then went still. Schuldig glanced at him, "And there goes the second one. Hey Nagi! Who do you think will go next me or you?"

Nagi looked over at the psychic, "Me because your the author's favorite, you get to die in the best way of all."  
Schuldig's eyebrows raised, "And what way is that? What way does the insane author think is good?"

Nagi shrugged, "The funniest and most insane way I guess. I really don't know. I just know that we all die in different ways."

The two left the restaurant and walked down the street looking around for danger. Seeing none Nagi noticed a lovely pink flower growing near the sidewalk and ran over to smell it. Poor Nagi was squirted with acid by the flower which turned out to be a breed that the author made just for that purpose.

Unfortunately he survived somehow so the author must redouble her efforts to kill him. Nagi's injuries were suddenly healed by some unknown force, "Why did that happen Nagi?"

Nagi glanced over at his companion, "The author must want me at full strength when she kills me. Not a comforting thought is it?"

Schuldig shook his head and they continued on. Now, Schuldig is very smart but somehow he managed to walk right onto the archery field and was shot by many arrows. One of them pierced him heart and the young girl who shot it, her name is Dee, ran over to him crying. When she saw who it was however she took the body home and lit it on fire and danced around it all night with her friend Haley.

Nagi stared as all this took place, "Wow, guess I was wrong. Of course there is no comfort there because now I get to die in the strange way." Before he could say anything else, poor Nagi spontaneously combusted and many people were sad because they like him.

Dee continued to dance around the body of Schuldig only now she had Brad's body and had lit that on fire too. She offered prayers to the bonfire and prayed that they would not come back in Weiss Kreuz Gluhen. Will she be so lucky? Pray hard Dee, because you never know.

The End

Neo: Oh. My. God. I really wrote this didn't I? This is the craziest fic I've ever written and I hope you liked it. If you want to flame me, be my guest. I deserve it after writing this load of trash.


End file.
